A film script based on a lakonet
By Siswo Harsono
The nuance in the meeting
So colorful is the clothing
So flowery is the building
Blooming in gold-looking
1. INT. ASTINA PALACE--DAY
The leaders of Kurawa hold general meeting to discuss the crisis of Kurusetra.
The distinguished leaders of Kurawa! The crisis of Kurusetra is a global crisis that should be overcome globally before it tends to be the Third World War of Baratayuda. For the Empire of, this meeting is officially opened. Welcome General Baladewa.
Iyo, thank you, ha, ha, ha, ha… sorry, I come late. You see—busy! There are so many internal affairs. For the sake of national development! Ha, ha, ha, ha….
Hehe… idem! Even now Astina is campaigning world peace to prevent WW III of Baratayuda! That's it, Prof?
Exactly! Nah, that's why Kurawa should apply a perfect strategy of international policy! Win without war! Nah, ha, ha, ha….
Precisely, Prof Dur! As a fully scientific theoretically sophisticated and referentially wealthy guru, you could give a perfect strategy!
Nah, ha, ha, ha… of course, of course! Durna is not just a mere professor in action or professor in rank but a brilliant expert and a multi sophisticated genius!
Krrk-phew! So proud! Prove it, Prof!
Great! Based on research, the basic power of Amarta military defense is in the unity of Pandawa and Panakawan. It's the unity of apparatus and people! Nah, to destroy such a power—kidnap Semar! Use him as a hostage! If necessary, kill him!
Wait a minute! It opposes human rights. Objection!
Take it easy, Mr. Governor of Awangga! The policy is in the hands of Mr. President, the decision-maker.
Hmh, agree! What's your opinion, General Baladewa?
Great—Brig. Gen. Dursasana, prepare Panakawan Operation. Kidnap Semar!
Ait! Yes, Sir! Ha, ha, ha… e-e-e, I'm going!
“Attention! This is list of field-officers of Panakawan Operation: Dursala, Dursata, Durmagati, Durmuka, Durkarma, Durwigata, Duradara, Kartamarma, Kartipeya, Citrayuda, Citramarma, Citrakandala, Citraksa, Citraksi, Citragada, Drepayuda, Drepawarman, Drepasastra, Dredarata, Ugrasewa, Drestahasta, Adityaketu, Bimabahu, Dirgarama, Dirgabahu, Dirgalacana…!”
“Yes, Sir! Yes, Sir! Yes, Sir! Yes, Sir!”
2. EXT. BORDER OF AMARTA--DAY
In the sky, Krincingwesi aircraft super-speedily flies!
“Hmmm… bastard Kurawa! Face the aircraft of Amarta!"—(Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!)
“Look out the bomb! Face downward!”
(BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!)
“Krrk-phew! Bastard aircraft! Dare to ban the troops of Astina—taste this!”—(Bang! Bang! Bang!)
“Break, Jangkarbumi Division, this is Marshal Gatotkaca needs helping Amarta infantry, over!”
“Well, Colonel Antareja is ready to help—”
“Contact Admiral Antasena!”
(BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!)
Dur, Dir, Cit, Karta… back off! Back off!
Krrk-phew! How about you, Prof?
Hard! Instead of damage, better go back off. Turn to diplomatic tactic! I'm going to meet Governor Arjuna in Madukara.
Good! Be careful, Prof!
OK, good bye!
[Immediately PROF DURNA goes to Madukara.]
3. INT. MADUKARA PALACE--DAY
Approaching his guest in the doorway, General Arjuna welcomes Prof Durna.
Good morning, Prof.
Thank you! As an Astina delegation I'm ordered by President Duryudana to discuss the crisis of Kurusetra. To prevent Baratayuda WW III, for the sake of world peace, Astina asks Amarta for giving Semar.
What for, Prof?
To be the elder of Astina! Nah, if you are not objection, please send him to Astina.
All right! I'm ready to obey my guru.
Nah, ha, ha, ha… please!
4. EXT. TUMARITIS--AFTERNOON
The earth quakes. The ocean quakes. The narrow-minded tactic of political conflict is burnt by a deadly edge. Tumaritis is attacked by a greedily and bloodily wild epidemic.
Suwe ora jamu, Mas
Jamune godong telo
Suwe ra ketemu Mas
Lho kok malah bodo
“Wow, Gong—obsolete! Not progressive! Art should have an autonomous characteristic. It must be unique, not cliche!”
“Just for money—bitch!”
“What! Attacked by dokuism, art idealism withers!”
“Stop-stop! Don't make a noise! Be respectful toward the readers.”
“Sendika dawuh, Raka Prabu—”
“Stop—bitch! Don't pretend to be such a mad dalang!”
“Hihi… I see, wayang's dialog is interesting. As if I were a dalang!"
“What'll u do?”
“I'll change my name to be Bagong De Vito—hihihi….”
“Dear me! Suppose I know what?”
“Eh, look, there is Mr. Jun!”
Sampurasun! Excuse me!
Rampes, General Arjuna, come in please.
Thank you. Mr. Semar, I hope you would like to join in a peace delegation of Amarta to Astina. Now you should go there with Prof Durna.
That's true, Ki Semar!
All right, let's go—Sons, take care our village!”
[It is reported PROF DURNA and SEMAR go to Astina.]
5. INT. ASTINA PRISON--NIGHT
In misery, Semar is sentenced in an underground dungeon jail. He does not become an ambassador, but becomes an antidote. He is so powerless.
“O, God! What sin, fault, guilt, or malpractice I did before, so that I get my bad fate like this?”
Duka daku dikau daki
Dikau duka daku daki
“Hey, Kurawa! Semar vanishes from the jail!”
“Krrk-phew! The devil! Who are you?”
“Surprise, Kurawa! I'm Sang Hyang Mayadewa who made Ki Semar Badranaya free.”
“Dur, Cit, Karta—seize him!”
“Yes, Sir! Yes, Sir! Yes, Sir!”
(Clap!)—“Ciaat!”—(Bang!)—“Ait! Pfuh!”—(Thwack! Dig!)
“Krrk-phew! Bastard! Hiaatt!”— (Clunk! Dig! Thump!) —“Gulp! Hoeekh ooo…!”
“Look, Dur! General Baladewa is beaten until spitting!”
“Krrk-phew! Run, Cit!”
[Kurawa run here and there. SANG HYANG MAYADEWA goes speedily to Amarta.]
6. INT. AMARTA PALACE--MORNING
Hiding behind the table of President Yudistira, General Arjuna requests political asylum.
What's the matter, General Arjuna?
Bad luck! I'm hunted by Sang Hyang Maya Dewa .
I sent Mr. Semar to Astina as a peace ambassador, but he's lost.
O, I see!
“Hey, Arjuna! The deuce! Though you go out of this solar system, you can not get rid of the prosecution of Sang Hyang Maya Dewa!”
Let me face him!
“Babo krrk-phew! What do you want dark man?”
Excuse me, Prosecutor—it's right that Arjuna is in the prosecuted side, if he is proved wrong. However, Amarta is a law county, which appreciates non-guilty prejudice. Nah, let's solve this problem in the court.
“Don't shuffle! Arjuna involved in cheating man power, official mal-function, collaborating with Kurawa to plunge Ki Semar Badranaya into misery.”
All right, your witness can be use in the court. You can prosecute General Arjuna! Are you a citizen of Amarta?
What! Mr. Semar?
Yes, Sir! Sang Hyang Maya Dewa is only my pseudo-name!”
O, o, o!
Hehehe… all right, Mr. Kresna. I forgive Gendral Arjuna's fault! I should go back to Tumaritis. Good bye!
All right, Mr. Semar. Bye!
[LONG DISOLVE TO SEMAR goes home to Tumaritis. MUSIC UP until the lyric ends.]
Semarang 20 December 2007